Four days to syf, thirteen to co concert, and twenty-one to strings concert, which i haven't been to a single practice just yet. And about a month left till the 2nd week of june, when i am finally free to study my brains off.



Four days. It scares me just to think about it, how months and months of hard work, sacrifices and tears all cumulate in that 15 minutes onstage. One careless note, or screwed up bowing, and it can all be over.



But my section rocks, and i know we can do this together, and only go uphill from here.

Went to pa for prac on saturday, and we practised in this uber cool black box of a dance studio.










... and started phototaking, and pianoplaying, and kboxing, and massdancing....

Everyday is just lessons-co-sleep, and my mind is nothing but co and sleep. Yup, I totally have no life. I realised that with startling clarity when i stepped into the hall during mumbo nite on friday, and among the throng of glitter and colour and retro glamness, we felt conspicuously out of place, holding files and looking super unglam in uniform. Friday is still forgivable, it's a weekday after all, but coming for lu yuan on a saturday, at night, in uniform, and having been in it since 7 plus in the morning, and being super drained with the strains of bar 11 running through my mind endlessly, yup, i officially have no life. and the only people in the audience in uni were all fellow CO-ers, so obviously we've all been mugging for syf, and at least we're in this together.

Oh well. I'm almost never out of uniform this year, which shows how often i'm in school and the extent of excitement in my life. Somehow i don't even have the time and energy to even think about studies now, much less other things. And that might be a good thing after all, living life like a robot programmed to only wake up, stone during lessons, play the cello, and then go back to sleep. I don't really have to think about things i don't want to.

But i'm human after all, perhaps unfortunately. And all this is making me highly strung, and very irritable, with minor things such as incompetent mcdonalds' staff making me angry enough to slam a cheeseburger on the table. I used to be able to not care about such things.

But i guess all i need is 8 hours of sleep, and a double-chocolate cookie from subway, and then a slow walk home along the boardwalk next to the sea, under the sun, and ice-cream. Which i got today, so i guess i felt slightly better than before, but i mostly blog when i'm unhappy, so i guess not really.

All these stress and everything, i can deal with. Its those intangible, small, but significant stuff i have no control over, that is really getting to me.