the ntu website said that it's sending out letters in batches from late april to early june.

yep, so i'm supposed to run out to my postbox in eager anticipation everytime i hear the postman's motorcycle, for an entire month? and i thought one weekend was bad enough. how long does it take them to send out those bloody letters anyway?

and since smu hasn't contacted me, and people are already receiving acceptance letters from smu soc sci, i don't know why the hell am i even bothering to study for sats.

i'm imagining an illustrious career of multi-level marketing and a lifetime of selling tupperware.

oh @#%$&*#. acceptance/rejection letters are all winging towards us like harry potter's prefect badge and i want to camp right below my postbox in prayerful meditation, grab the letters from the postman the next time he comes with a deranged ferocity, and if there's any hint of a ntu crest on any envelope, i will rip it open with trembling fingers and unveil my Fate.

but since i'm unable to do that, i'm resigned to sitting grouchily at home, knowing that everything culminates in that one piece of paper that's currently being processed in spore post right now. i don't feel like going out, and i don't even have the mood to carry on with my 2-week tvb-drama marathon, cuz its difficult to be immersed in other people's soap-opera lives when mine is hanging in the balance.

i don't know why i'm so sick with worry, and i realise how much i really want to be accepted by them, and if i'm not, my heart will irrevocably shatter into a million pieces i'll spend the rest of eternity trying to retrieve.

i think i'm studying too much sats vocabulary and watching too much tragic dramas.