bloody hell.

you know, prcs are practically the modern-day nazis in asia - everyone hates them. that cancer-stricken ntu prc scholar whom no one wants to donate money to; how in hongkong, even generous people won't give a single cent to a beggar upon learning he's from mainland china.. even in school lah, who isn't laughing at every prc scholar's high socks and chest-level pants? and we all feel sorry for them, bearing the burnt of all this xenophobic behaviour...

but sometimes, you can't blame people for doing so.

i had an encounter with a completely ghastly prc today at tuition. yes, fine, i marked a question wrongly on her precious daughter's homework. you tell me, which teacher hasn't done that before?! she didn't have to create a huge-ass scene at the centre when i wasn't there, complain to the head about me, AND, after all that, humbly walk in today to confirm the question with me while giving that hypocritical smile, as if she was afraid i'd abuse her daughter after all that hoo-ha. oh, and if that wasn't enough, she stationed a fellow comrade at the door, who stood there, arms folded, legs apart, glaring malevolently at me like some Red Army commander.

yes, people dislike them for reasons other than the fact that they like to twirl their armpit hair (no kidding). and fine, i may be stereotyping and generalising, but when 9 out of 10 of them are like that, its just everyone's natural tendency to assume that all of them are like that.

so bloody pissed off right now. she bring the whole china come find me lah, i not scared. grrr.

back from hongkong. :D

blogging from work now. reached s'pore last night at 12 plus, slept at 3 plus after packing and stumbled to work after 2 hours plus of sleep. am still in a haze of sheer exhaustion, and it seems surreal, especially while sitting in this bleak office, how only a few hours ago, i was happily trouping the streets of hongkong with its crisp breezes and picturesque red-flowered trees.

will blog more later after i get more sleep and can start uploading photos. especially of what i brought back from hongkong - no hot tvb-actor-lookalikes, unfortunately. :(

I'm off to the Land of Hot TVB Actors tomorrow. :) its past midnight, i have a morning flight tmr, and i haven't packed; am still doing all the uni stuff, which, according to the caustic remarks i keep hearing, deliberately or not, is kind of futile anyway.

so thank god i'm off to somewhere where a levels are a distant blur and life is all about eating and shopping.

Went nus open house with smart-friend linny, twisted lavi and boastful jolie. :) Saw throngs of people at the fass talk. Those with 4 a's should just go to their medicine/law/business courses and leave fass for people like me.

& watched koizura. Which is kind of about two horny teenagers, with all that poignant jap-folk music and lingering scenery shots to nullify that typical chick-flick effect and turn it into some reflective arty-farty kind of movie. Which might work at the touching end scenes, but i can't get over the girl's stupidity la, and also cuz i felt really sad when she rejected the other cute guy.

Okay la i cried and so did every girl in the cinema, but its the kind of movie where you have to cry what. The music so touching, and people are dying, how to not cry.

Anyway my sis came back from shanghai today and this is what was on the official departure card. When you start to get really pissed off because all the straight-A's PRCs are vying for all the already-limited uni places, just bask in the sick pleasure of knowing that you can at least string a proper sentence together.

sometimes when people ask about my results, i laugh it off and say thank god i didn't end up with the 4 U's i predicted. but sometimes i can't find a way to smile about it and i just tell them straight that yeah, i kind of screwed it all up.

funny thing is, either way, i'm not being hypocritical. yeah it's a miracle i managed to pull through. but on the other hand, i'm not supposed to get such grades in the first place. yesterday at tuition, the director happily asked me about It. i told her, with a suitably glum face, that i only managed one A. her face fell in complete shock, but she quickly recovered and brightly said, 'nevermind, rest get B la right.' Right.

looking back, i wondered what possessed me to opt for the science stream when i was obviously mathematically dyslexic. just because 'science gives you more options in uni what', or 'since take in sec school then just take now loh'. more options? yeah, i have a HELL lot of options now with grades like this huh. i was bloody stupid before, but it's over, and i need to move on. bah.

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

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something we all need right now huh. totally expected for mine. i'd rather work at cpf all my life than spend four excruciating years tearing my hair out over differential equations. no, wait, maybe not.

the verdict's out.

Yep. FINALLY. after like one million and one false alarms.

and i never want to go through this hell again. we came late, thankfully, to avoid all the cheering and watching the smart-7 a's-asses go upstage and all that fanfare. that feeling, omg. the moment ronnie entered school, she said shiyu and i were huddled together, looking pale and shaken, like the lone survivors of some horrific accident. then we entered the hall, amidst scenes of people bawling/screaming tearfully into their phones "A! A! A! B!"/standing dead-still with expressions of sheer trauma on their blood-drained faces. then shiyu started kneeling on the ground like she was overwhelmed by the impact of it all. it was 9-11 all over again, i tell you.

then, huddled together with nessa, we approached mrs lim, who was casually asking us to take goodie bags, completely oblivious of the sheer terror on our faces. and the moment that pink slip of paper was in my hands, i thought 'wth' and opened it and...

don't ask. i guess i improved alot as compared to prelims, but really, if i don't improve from my horrifying prelim results, even some quack university of calcutta won't accept me. so i'm thankful and overwhelmingly relieved that its over, but its not results that i'm proud of as well.

at least it wasn't as drama as during o's when i was in tears even before i received my results and the vp, the mother superior and some other teacher rushed over in alarm and gave me my results without me needing to queue. and the mother superior looked at my results in delight - 'my dear, you are shedding tears of joy!' when i was anything but joyful. yep, results day have always been traumatising for me.

anyway, it's now time to think about HONG KONG on the 19th march with ronnie cynthia and yanqi. 7 glorious days of shopping and dim-sum eating. :)

Its doomsday, yessiree.

If i don't sleep and spend my night trying to work out the annoying messy interface of facebook while kay-pohing at the same time, maybe tmr will never come.

Oh wtfh. It'll come anyway. I'll sleep now and hope i wake up like 5 months later and everyone will forget that this exam and my screwed up results ever existed.

yes i'm one hell of an escapist at times like this. and i swear more often too.

just sent my sister off to shanghai while looking wistfully at the planes soaring past the glass walls of T3. what would i give to be able to fly off, now, before The Dreaded Incident of Tomorrow arrives. you know what i mean. saying it out is sheer taboo, since the whole world, especially the aunties at 33rd level, insist on reminding me of It everytime they see me. i tell them, in all seriousness, that if i'm not at work on monday, they will know what happened. and i see a bit of panic in their eyes when they exclaim, 'cannot like that think lah!'

people worry about It because they don't know if they will do well or not. i worry because i dread to see living proof that i did not do well.

its bloody over. sealed in that laminated sheet. bah. i'm all prepared to bawl my eyes out while the rest of the hall cheers, and then try to move on with life.

AND. i will NOT read the papers/watch the news/listen to the radio for around a week after The Dreaded Day just in case reports like last year's 'RJC students cry after not getting 4 A's' start appearing on the front-page news. that might really drive me to go on a mad rampage to annihilate every swotting, straight-A mugger in singapore.